Let it go
Posted on June 30, 2015
We quit our jobs…
We quit our jobs, packed up our house, and began a four-month trip, first by car from San Francisco to Canada, then onward to France, Spain, Ireland, Croatia, and Hungary.
April 1st, 2015: I got lost trying to get on the Richmond Bridge. If you live in San Francisco for over a decade – or even a year for that matter – the Richmond Bridge is not difficult to find. I was distracted. My mind was still moving out of our house, still putting our lives into storage and packing up the dog and saying farewell to our loved ones and canceling the internet and cleaning up and, and, and…even though all of this was done and shrinking in the rear view mirror just as quickly as I drove away, that freeing realization was still buried deep. Somehow, even though it seemed impossible, we were now in the car, speeding toward the Richmond Bridge, speeding North, speeding right past the exit for the bridge.
…the latest gold rush, is changing the physical landscape of San Francisco
The U-turn revealed a glorious view of the iconic San Francisco skyline, now framed by several construction cranes, perched on her edges like shelving brackets, holding up the sides of the bulging city that was going through a growth spurt. The recent development boom, the latest gold rush, is changing the physical landscape of San Francisco just as quickly as it remodels the social one. The city that I spent fifteen plus years being shaped by was changing its own shape and swinging wide open for a new crowd, a new generation, a new 2.0.
My last year in San Francisco was like a complicated relationship with a hot and sparky girlfriend. I knew the relationship had to change or even end, but we had so many things in common, knew so many of the same people, and had so many years together, that it was difficult to know if, after this four month break, San Francisco and I would stay together, or call it quits forever. As I drove, looking at that skyline and the dull grey water of the San Francisco Bay, a sight I would not see again for a long while, it was strangely not stirring those conflicting feelings that weighted most of my recent days past. In fact, much to my surprise, it was not stirring up any feelings.
We needed a feelings u-turn. We needed “Let it Go”
When I successfully navigated a rather dodgy u-turn back to the Richmond Bridge, that view became visible in the rear mirror, and so I decided to hammer home the cliche of watching it disappear in hopes of stirring up a “moment”. I proclaimed, “There goes San Francisco, say good-bye to the city you may not live in again, look at the fog one last time, her curves, her Bay, good-byyyyyyeee, SF.” Then the anxiety of change started to fill the car, and my wife started to cry. Oh no. Too much moment. I needed to reel it in. We needed a feelings u-turn. We needed “Let it Go”, the title song from the Frozen soundtrack, stat.
We bought it and blasted it, trying to sing along. Turns out, that song is not an easy one to rock out to. But we mumbled along, my wife wiping her tears away as we shouted the chorus. With the Frozen save, we silently made a pact to not think about the next four months, not to question our choices, and to just drive.
Our first stop in Gold Beach, Oregon, is a favourite destination. We’ve spent Christmas there and stayed two other times on the drive to and from the West Coast of British Columbia when visiting family. We stay in the same beach cabin*, eat at the same fish restaurant**, and do little more than walk the dog on the driftwood beach, invent cocktails, nap, and sit by the fireplace with take-out dinner.
Our dog sleeps by the fire and we open a bottle wine. It is here where we stop caring about all the things that took up so much space right before we blasted off. It’s the beach and the dog snuggling, and the clean Oregon air that lets our minds drift back to what is really important – everyone we will leave behind for many months, how lucky we are to have great people in our lives and to have lived in a city that is truly life-shaping. Here we go.
Such a lovely start! I am on the edge of my seat!!!!